8 Paws on the Ground + 4 Paws in the Heart

Sadie crossed The RainBow Bridge on July 23.

I am not going to change the name of the blog because Sadie will always have her four paws right in my heart. Before she crossed, I asked her to go across the bridge and jump into my heart and stay with me, and she did. We buried her in the 'Magic Garden' near Moe, Beth & Chandler. She was covered with a collection of feathers that we had collected, a delicate hanky embroidered with pansies (Gram's? Great Grandma Pearson's?), and rose petals. On her front paw she wore a beaded bracelet (made by sister, June, years ago) that said "Janis Kay" surrounded with rainbow colored beads.

She had a full, happy and wonderful life. She had just turned 14 and most of her time she was healthy and happy. She failed quickly when the support we had been providing for her liver, pancreas and her kidneys stopped working. It was clear the end was in sight and I made the decision to help her across the bridge as I didn't want her to suffer - even though selfishly I wanted to enjoy every minute of her by my side.

She was born in Meeteetse, Wyoming on July 15, 1996. She was originally adopted by my boss for her five year old son because they thought my two cockers, Makena & Beth were pretty neat dogs. They brought her to the Powder Horn Ranch sales office in Sheridan, the day they adopted her. She was eight weeks old. I just remember a sweet blond puppy. After that when she visited the office I remember she was a very energetic puppy who would run up the stairs and down again saying hello to everyone and then she would stop and "plant" herself. She also liked to lay on the floor and "whine-talk" and Sandy (the boss) would sometimes lay down and talk back to her.

When Sadie was nine months old, Sandy said they were going out of town again and had decided to take Sadie up to the shelter, as they were rarely home and she was destroying the house (she spent most of her time in the basement). I had a friend who I thought wanted a dog, and I said I would take Sadie and find her a good home. That didn't work out and Sadie joined our family on East Lane. Her youthful spirit energized the two older dogs and they gave her lots of "puppy privileges".

She was destructive. Early on I left to go to the grocery store. I wasn't gone long, but I returned to find Sadie had chewed a hole in my comforter, both sheets, the mattress pad, and was taking her first bite out of the mattress! I was afraid to leave her in the house so I bought her a dog house and a heated kennel pad and had plans to leave her on the patio next to the back door.

But I could not drive away and leave her outside. I returned everything and she moved into the house and she was never destructive again.

The first Christmas I had a display of soft, handmade Christmas dolls in the bay window...snowmen, angels, and Santa. One day I came home and noticed Santa was missing. I asked the dogs, "Where's Santa?" Sadie jumped out the doggie door, went head first into a snow drift and returned with Santa in her mouth. He didn't have one tooth mark.

And so it was for the next 13 years, a gazillion funny Sadie stories and good times.

She traveled with me all over the U.S. on many road trips. From Cape Cod, to Washington state and everywhere in between. She lived in West Virginia and she comforted me when Makena died in February, 2000 and she traveled along with Beth and I to Palm Desert, where Beth died in March, 2000.

She was with me when my Mom passed away: and after my broken finger & surgery; and during my battle with breast cancer in 2001. She was with me when Judith Ann died of breast cancer and when Rozalind died of lung cancer. She was by my side when little Moe was killed. She was with me when Marlene died last year.

She was with me in my 40's, all through my 50's and in my 60's. Three states, four homes, three relationships. (Of course, she loved them all!)

Sadie was my adult 'anchor'. It's hard to remember life when she wasn't here. And so although I feel privileged and grateful to have been able to share Sadie's life with her, I miss her more than words can say. I am having to redefine my present without her by my side.

Somehow through the universe, she has managed to send messages via gifts - The day after she died I found a large, perfect bird feather at the patio door. I had never found one there before. A few days later I found a small dog biscuit unlike one I have ever seen before on the patio table. Recently while walking our familiar route at the park, I had a sad moment remember Sadie leading the pack on the same walk, and through my tears I saw a silver heart in the grass. As I picked it up I thought a dog had lost it's tag, but as I turned it over there was a rainbow and two pandas.

I don't believe there are accidents in the universe. And so I thank Sadie for touching my heart and reminding me she's there.

I also thank Sadie for failing the night before we hooked up the trailer for two months in June Lake. It would have been terrible to be far away from the vet, but more importantly, I did not feel right about leaving my friend Pat after she had been diagnosed with cancer.

And so it was meant for me to stay home this summer for the most part and I am glad to be here for Pat. I help her as needed while she goes through aggressive chemo treatments, but most important, she knows I am here.

Sadie taught me so many good things. I am a work in progress and I wish dogs lived as long as people so that she could have stayed with me until my time to leave this earth.

My little sister, Kezi and I used to sing, "Sadie PeaPod is a mighty fine dog!" And so she is!

So please rest in peace, Sadie, Mama loves you always and I'll see you some day on the other side of The Rainbow Bridge. Until then, I know you will stay in my heart and our Tale will continue.

Mr. C. versus The Mockingbird

One of my best pals, and the reason I have a home in the desert, has been diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.

Pat has not been feeling well for a long time, and during that time she was distracted with many bumps in her road: the loss of her mother to Alzheimer's; her only sister to cancer; her older husband to age; and recently, her 18 year old grandson to suicide.

I have been eagerly awaiting the day that she would feel better physically and her life would return to some sort of natural happy rhythm, and that we could resume our favorite gal-pal activities: movies, dinners, yakking, walking, hiking, laughing.

Pat has the capacity to make me laugh like no one else. She is a great mime and can nail friends and family in the most humorous way. My favorite is when she winds up and does her imitation of a mocking bird at 2 A.M. that sings like it has consumed too much caffeine. That mocking bird always puts me on the floor gasping for breath with tears running down my cheeks!

I have really missed Pat.

In a way it was a relief that the experts finally figured out what was wrong with her; however, Mr. C. has visited most, if not all, of the lymph nodes throughout her body. She has been in & out of the hospital with numerous invasive tests, and after the cat scan they put her right back in Eisenhower and started a very aggressive chemo treatment immediately.

The chemical cocktail for non-Hodgkin's is "CHOP". She will receive that every three weeks for 6 treatments. The day after the "CHOP" she receives a second chemo. I think of it as the kick-ass chemo: Rituxan. It is so strong that in a few cases it has killed the patient after the drip has started. Therefore, they have a chemo nurse sit and observe the patient for the first treatment of 4.5 hours. Scary.

So I can't avoid the reality that she's seriously ill. From what I've read I think it is Stage IIIA. It is my understanding that it has not metastasized to any organs. That is a good thing.

Pat is really on a roller coaster now...still reeling from the shock of the diagnosis, feeling very sick, extreme fatigue, nauseousness, feeling relatively better, and then depression that reduces her to a pool of tears. And she would be the first to tell you that she is not a "cry baby pee pee pants".

Some days when I visit her all those emotions roll by as I watch. It is very hard to watch my friend suffer. All I can do is be there for her and offer words of encouragement and support.

Watching her ride brings back painful memories of my own experience which unfortunately, Pat knows in detail.

It is human nature to fight to survive and Pat is a fighter. I hope and pray she wins this battle and that soon she can make it all a blur in her memory - that is after we do a victory lap as survivors together.

I love and miss the sunny energy of my friend and I want her back. I can't wait to hear the mockingbird!

My Dad Was Santa!

Today marks 93 years since my Dad was born in 1917.

When I was four I remember going to see Santa and not really having any idea what to tell him what I wanted him to bring me for Christmas. In 1951 we didn't have a TV to introduce us to new toys and I could only gauge what I wanted by what I coveted that belonged to my older sister, June, or what my kindergarten playmates possessed.

After seeing Santa, my dad was carrying me on his shoulders as we left the store. I saw a doll that I liked and I said to my dad, "I want that dolly!" He was the only person that knew that I wanted that particular doll.

On Christmas morning we went into the living room and there sitting in a high chair was the dolly. I was so happy to have my "wee wee" doll and I was thrilled to realize that my Dad was Santa! Not just to me, but I believed he was Santa to all the children all over the world! I was so proud! My Dad was Santa!

Over time, I learned that Santa was really about the magic of giving at Christmas and my dad was not traveling the world in a sleigh pulled by reindeer on Christmas delivering toys. Still, I have always felt that my Dad was full of magic and every bit as special as Santa.

Dad left this earth in 1971 but I still have my wee wee doll on my night stand - a symbol of magic, Christmas, Santa and Daddy.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Daddy!

Brunette

My niece, Suzy, informed me that Brunette is spelled with just one "N" so I had to figure out how to correct the (previous) typo in my "header".
But I wasn't sure I even wanted to make the correction because I figure the two "N's" stand for "naughty" and "nutty" and I didn't want to give up either.
I made the correction because by nature I must, but I will still think of myself as a brunette with two "N's"

God Winked! June 26, 2010

Yep, I was up with camera in hand for the partial lunar eclipse this morning.

(No big deal for me because I am up a couple of times in the wee hours every night and actually enjoy stretching out a bit and then returning to my cool sheets and back to sleep.)

I had read that the earth's shadow was going to start eclipsing the moon about 2:00 A.M. I woke up about 2:15 and went in the back yard and looked at the bright, nearly full moon, and could see no evidence of a even a minor shadow. I keep staring. Maybe I had mistaken the date and the eclipse was going to be early Saturday morning?

Next time I woke up it was about 4:30 A.M. I went out back and looked at the sky. I noted the sun was starting to hint at waking up to the West...but no moon was visible. Had it set already? Was it a full eclipse and the moon was hiding in the sky? I walked out the front door and down the driveway and voila! - there was the Lunar Goddess shining bright in the sky to the SW and ready to slide down behind Haystack (hill).

I am hoping a photo of me doesn't show up in my old lady baby dolls on a neighbor's Internet blog entitled "old bat out early ".